mr potty-mouth

This morning I had to referee a skirmish between Nate and Jamie.

Long Story Short – Jamie had something of Nate’s .. Nate wanted to reclaim ownership of it (but only after seeing Jamie having big-fun with said piece of plastic crap) … Jamie wouldn’t give up said piece of plastic crap  … so *are you ready to rumble?* Nate punched Jamie in the stomach … FFWD …  blah blah blah …  punishment punishment punishment… finish discussion with Nate (all the while Jamie’s not moved from the toy-room, doing the fake moany cry in  a concerted effort to have Nate meted out a more severe punishment.

So Nate and I are now done, out comes Jamie to get his 5 minutes of victim-sympathy and tells me (try to imagine the slowest walk with head hung so low that the sad eyeballs just about drag on the ground as he sloths over to me).

Jamie : Mummy, Nathan broke my heart! (accompanied by the most forlorn face ever – I thought he might actual perish from the sadness and tragedy of it all).

Me : Oh no! How did he do that? (feigning what I believe to be a most appropriate level of parental concern).

Jamie : He VERY BLADDY punched me, didn’t he? (big wide eyes and majorly sincere and aghast face).

Me : (silence from me, I’m doing all I can not to laugh my head off and if I had tried to speak I would have exploded)

Jamie : (frowning and pursing lips) Didn’t you hear me? He VERY BLADDY punched me so absolutely HARD!  I nearly thought it VERY BLADDY was the end of me!

 

Where did he get this come from?  Must be that he goes down the docks or local shebeens after I’ve gone to bed at night!  That’s the only viable explanation!